SPeaking of…..

Just recently I started working full time again, after a two-year hiatus, the early part of which was spent working part time and the latter part, well, unemployed.  Good job, good office and good pay.  Need I say more? And all glory to God, the only one who made all these possible.

It excites me to be once again part of the group that wakes up early in the morning, join the mad rush for transportation and - tadaa!!!! dress up!  I remember how, on several occasions before,  in the middle of preparing reports and beating deadlines, I would  wish to be at home, cooking, reading, taking care of the kids and, my all time favorite past time, sleeping the aftenoon away.  Needless to say, I got what I wished for, and enjoyed it to the brim.  But upon getting the chance to work again, I grabbed it like a child grabbing candy would.

I definitely enjoyed staying home and when motherhood came, I embraced it. Being a full time wife and mother fitted me to a T.  I have no problems doing everything and even if ironing is not exactly my favorite chore to do, I always manage to get Jofs’ business shirts neat and crisp.  And I get a certain sense of accomplishment when, after cleaning the toilet, everything in it seems to sparkle and shine (some kind of accomplishment huh!)

But after quite a while of being so,  I longed to get out and work.  Not only because economics dictate me to do so, but for a number of other reasons, these two being on top of the list.  One, I wanted to have something running through that grey matter in between my ears other than what to cook for dinner, how to dress my kids up and what TV program to watch out for. Funny but  I missed the adrenaline rush (irritations included) I get when the boss gives me something to do and says deadline is after a few hours.  Well at least it forces my mind to work.  I don’t want to wake up one day and find out it has rusted and would not work anymore the way I wanted it to.  Two,  I missed getting the payslips and its more significant partner, the paychecks.  There is this sense of fullfillment in knowing that I am able to earn my keep and I don’t have to depend on my husband for everything, from salt and pepper to my mothers’ medicine to lip gloss.  Well, more so with the lip gloss(es) :), and my mothers’ medicine (this, i strongly believe, is totally my responsibility).  And i believe too, that I owe it to my mom to put into good use the education she so struggled to give me, working her fingers to the bone.  She may not say it (parents never do, for fear of hurting us maybe), but I know she prefers to watch me climbing the corporate ladder rather than climbing the stairs at home carrying a mop or something

I think I am really better off working, takes my mind off the mundane things i normally would spend time to dwell on had I been at home.  The bedsheet not neatly spread, the particles on the carpet (can you imagine that!), Jof putting his dirty clothes elsewhere other than the hamper, and the very depressing ending in a TV soap.  The first three I still get involved in once in a while, but the last one definitely no more (honest!)

Being very independent, I think it follows that  I am a working girl at heart.  I have no issues (never had) about balancing career and family.  I can always engage (as I’ve always done) the assistance of my mother and my kid’s nanny (that’s why!). And I never experienced the very common situation where the kids choose lola or ate over mommy because of the large amount of time spent with them.  They always hands down choose mommy ( well, sometimes its Jof).  Its because when I get home at night and on weekends, I take charge.  Grannies and nannies need to rest too, you know.

Having said all that, I might as well do very good on this job which I intend to keep for long.  Sometimes during the unholy hours after lunch, I long for the comfort of our bed, but I always go back to the fact that having experienced both worlds, I still am more inclined to be part of the working arena,  deadlines and rush hours included.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and I’m sure restaurants are fully booked, flower shops are hitting it big and lovers and newly weds are all excited - from where to go, what to wear up to what lipstick to put on (women!). But for couples who have been married several years already, with children and all, celebrations are less extravagant but i dare not say, less romantic. Because I believe romance does not lie on extravagant dinners or gazillion flowers on your doorsteps. In fact, even when I was younger, I didn’t like receiving flowers that much, not because I am not romantic, but simply because after only a few days, they wilt and die and I now have the problem of cleaning up the mess from all the petals and pollens that have fallen. And now that I am more matured, I tell Jof to use the money to buy food to put in the fridge instead. That includes chocolates, actually

Yesterday I read an article in the newspaper about a woman who left her husband for somebody else. The reason? She says the husband has become boring - doesn’t give her flowers anymore, won’t bring her to fancy (expensive) restaurants, etc. While this new guy she was seeing does all the works, I think he reserved a yacht or something for just the two of them this Valentine’s Day, and it thrilled her no end. How sad, I mean, bad.

I believe flowers and extravagant dinners are good, and I’ve had my share of those with Jof too, but to rely heavily on that for romance is a bit too shallow for me. You see, as couples become more mature into the marriage, more significant things take place. And to me, more than all the flowers and dinners put together, its the little, everyday gestures of love that matter most.

The following are some of the everyday, small things Jof did and still does that matter most to me, (he probably doesn’t know it, but) I keep it in my heart.

1. After a long day in the office coupled with duties in the church, he manages to give me a massage (full body or foot) at night, and to think that I just stayed home all day. (spoiled rotten espie!)

2. When we go to the malls, I love to try shoes no end, check on bags and make-up (what else does a girl do in the mall?) and he patiently follows and waits for me even if he knows perfectly well that I have no plans of buying. I know a lot of guys can’t handle that.

3. When we were living in a 2-storey apartment, I have this strange (read:annoying) habit of asking for water at night just when he has comfortably settled into bed, but he willingly and lovingly goes back down the 1st floor, each time reminding me that the next time I ask should be when he is still downstairs. But the cycle goes on….

4. Between buying a pair of shoes for himself and me, he’d choose to buy for me. I have a dozen, he has three.

5. In the six years that we were married, I can count with the fingers in one hand the number of times he went out without me. Always prefers to be with the kids and the wife.

6. When I don’t get to pack lunch for him, he does not complain.

7. When he only has coins in his wallet because I forgot to give him money (money he has earned), he does not complain.

8. When I always postpone my self-appointed task of cleaning his finger and toe nails, he does not complain.

9. When he asks me to do something and I fail to do it, he does not complain.

10. He does not complain. Period. (He just lovingly reminds me).

11. He says I love you to me several times a day and several times a night. Some husbands stop doing so after 2 years of marriage.

12. Four days ago was the day when we got together seven years ago. And while we were talking about it, recalling that day, tears suddenly fell from his eyes while looking at me…..

Those are just a few things, the total number of which will take me the whole day to write here. But those of course are reciprocated and I also have my share of loving gestures for him. I am very sure that blissfully married couples will agree with me. That these are the kind of things that fan the coal and allow an old flame to still burn ever so brightly.

Happy Valentine’s Day Dad. I Love You So Much!

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

Today, January 28, is my mom’s 63rd birthday. No big deal really because she stopped celebrating i think decades ago (don’t we all at certain points in our lives?), but to me every year added to my mom’s life is a REAL blessing. I count her years not only from her birth date in 1944 but from that fateful day in 2001 when she underwent brain surgery. I always go, (and it never fails, i observed) its been 4 years, 5 years, 6 years since her operation. Maybe because I consider it one of my best miracles. Needless to say, it was her second chance with life. I remember sitting outside the operating room, nine months pregnant and begging God to lend her to me even for 5 more years, and i realized now, its way past that already. Its a good thing God’s timetable is different from ours

My mom is not the soft spoken, open minded kind of mom. Truth to be told, while I was growing up, she was emotional, strict and tough. But who wouldn’t be, being widowed at 36 with no job and a 4 year old daughter to raise. I never appreciated her being strict at that time. Curfews, cannot do this, need to learn that. In fact during my high school/college years, I envied my classmates who did not need to do anything at home, while poor me has to do the laundry by hand (we did not have washing machine at that time). But fast forward to the present time, I now see what that was all for. She taught me how to cook, do the laundry, iron clothes, sew, clean, all the works, which i just realized, all benefit my husband the most Come to think of it, husbands should have their mothers-in-law to thank for the multi-tasking wives their former girlfriends have become. But more than learning how to run the household, I was taught to be independent, strong willed and to stand for and defend myself because she said nobody would do it for me (well, I know now that God always does).

Up until now, she proves her love for me still by taking care of my children, weakened legs and arms notwithstanding. And on some instances I catch her giving my children the same instructions she gave me. Lance, Carl, when you grow up a little, you have to know how to do the dishes & sweep the floor and when you are big enough, do not let mommy do your laundry. My children are only 3 & 5 I guess its never too early to start reminding huh.

I pray now that the Lord will give her good health, long life and I shall never give HIM a timetable again. Happy Birthday Ma! We Love You!

With nothing much to do yet, i decided to (once again) blog. More than three years ago, i tried my hand with this thing in another blogsite and the farthest i’ve gone is three entries (hehe). Being the computer genius that I am , it took me so much longer setting the thing up (with all the codes needed just to have links and post pictures) than doing the three blogs altogether. I stopped at three, not because i don’t have anything to write, on the contrary, I have so much. Looking back, I think I just decided to store it all up in my mind, which I obviously realized, is not the wisest thing to do. So now I’m back and keeping my fingers crossed that I do more than three entries, even if I get busy, which is going to be really soon.